The holidays often look bright and magical from the outside… yet inside, many of us are just trying to hold it together. It can feel like we’re running on a treadmill that keeps speeding up—stressed, exhausted, and thinking, If I can just make it through to the other side of Christmas…

This season has a way of stirring up a very particular kind of pressure: expectations.

Not just one type, but three—and each one pulls on us differently.

1. The expectations others place on us

Work deadlines squeezed into the last few weeks of the year. Invitations piling up. Family obligations layered with unspoken rules — show up, smile, stay calm, bring something, don’t disappoint anyone.

It can feel like standing in the middle of a roundabout with everyone calling your name.

But here’s something we forget:

Everyone is navigating their own emotional, mental, and physical limits.

And you are allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to take a breath. You’re allowed to step back when you need to.

When you loosen your grip on what others “should” be or how things “should” go, a little space opens inside you. And that space matters.

2. The expectations we absorb from others

This one hits differently.

It awakens old habits—over-giving, over-working, over-pleasing. The kind that leaves your shoulders tight and your mind foggy. You start pushing yourself to match someone else’s version of you, and it quietly drains you.

Sometimes it even turns into resentment, tucked behind polite smiles.

But you don’t have to carry that.

Let their expectations slide off you like raindrops on a window.

It’s wonderful to make people happy—but not at the cost of your own wellbeing.

You matter too.

Your needs matter.

And your energy is not endless.

3. The expectations we place on ourselves

These are often the heaviest.

That inner voice starts whispering:

“I should be more organised.”

“I should feel more festive.”

“I should pull off the perfect day… the perfect gifts… the perfect everything.”

But perfection is a moving target—and chasing it only presses harder on the heart.

What if this year, instead of pushing yourself past your limits, you allowed yourself something gentler?

Acceptance.

Where you are.

Who you are.

Right now—not some polished future version of you.

When you soften your own expectations, you create room to breathe.

You create room for peace.

4. Shifting from the head to the heart

The mind gets loud at Christmas—lists, comparisons, worries, planning.

It spins like a storm.

But the heart brings you back to centre.

And gratitude is often the bridge—not the forced kind, but the quiet noticing:

The warmth of a cup in your hands.

Morning light on the floor.

A laugh you didn’t expect.

A single calm moment in an otherwise busy day.

These small things ground you. They remind you that even in the chaos, there are tiny pockets of sweetness.

When you return to the heart, expectations soften.

Presence expands.

And you finally breathe again.

A gentle reminder for the days ahead

You don’t have to match anyone else’s pace.

This season, give yourself permission to:

• Pause whenever you need to.

• Take deeper breaths than usual.

• Let go of what isn’t yours to carry.

• Listen to what your heart has been quietly asking for.

Resilience isn’t about snapping back—it’s about rising slowly, honestly, and with care.

And when you move from that place, the holidays stop feeling like a performance and start feeling like a slow return home to yourself.

I’m walking this with you. There is calm and clarity ahead.

Are you seeking to find clarity, confidence and courage?

Like to learn more about developing resilience through life challenges?

Niky offer’s her Rise UP program for women online as well as her Lead Her UP retreats for women.

• Find out more about her retreats here

• Listen in to Niky’s Synergy Women podcast here