There is a story about Dolly Parton that I think every woman in leadership should hear — not because it's a story about music, but because it's a story about self-worth, boundaries and having the courage to trust yourself when saying yes would be so much easier.

Dolly Parton wrote I Will Always Love You in the early 1970s. Then came an extraordinary opportunity: Elvis Presley wanted to record it.

Imagine being a young songwriter and hearing those words. Elvis wants to record your song. The exposure, the validation, the doors that could open.

Dolly was understandably thrilled. But there was a condition. Elvis's manager, Colonel Tom Parker, told her they required a significant share of the publishing rights to songs Elvis recorded.

Dolly said no.

And apparently, it wasn't an easy no. She's spoken about crying over the decision — this was Elvis Presley, and she wondered whether she was walking away from an opportunity that might never come again. But beneath the excitement, the fear and the temptation was something stronger. She knew the value of what she had created. So she protected it.

Years later, Whitney Houston recorded I Will Always Love You. Her version became a worldwide phenomenon and one of the defining recordings of her career. Dolly's decision turned out to be worth millions.

But I think the real lesson is bigger than the money.

Sometimes knowing your worth feels uncomfortable

We often talk about boundaries as though they should feel empowering. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they feel terrible. Sometimes choosing yourself comes with doubt: Am I being difficult? Am I asking for too much? What if I lose the opportunity? What if they don't like me? What if I regret this?

This is particularly relevant for women who have spent years being rewarded for being helpful, accommodating, capable and generous. We become very good at giving — our time, our energy, our expertise, our emotional capacity. And somewhere along the way, generosity can quietly become overgiving.

There is a difference. Generosity comes from choice. Overgiving often comes from fear — fear of disappointing someone, of being judged, of losing an opportunity, of not being enough, of thinking that if we don't say yes, someone else will.

An open heart still needs boundaries

This is one of the principles at the centre of what I call Mind-Hearted Leadership. We need both: an open heart that allows us to lead with empathy, generosity, connection and humanity, and a clear mind that allows us to recognise our value, make considered decisions and protect what matters.

Heart without boundaries can become depletion. Mind without heart can become disconnection. But when the two work together, something changes. We can be generous without giving ourselves away. We can care deeply without carrying everything. We can say no without becoming cold. We can protect our energy without apologising for it. And we can recognise our worth without needing someone else to validate it first.

The hardest boundaries are often the ones that matter most

It would have been very easy for Dolly to tell herself: But it's Elvis.

And we all have our own version of "but it's Elvis." But it's an important client. But it's my boss. But they really need me. But this could be a huge opportunity. But everyone is expecting me to do it. But I don't want to let them down.

So we override ourselves. Again and again — until eventually we wonder why we're exhausted, resentful or disconnected from the person we once were.

Knowing your worth isn't simply looking in the mirror and telling yourself you're enough. Sometimes knowing your worth is a decision. A boundary. A conversation. A no. A willingness to walk away from something impressive because the price being asked is too high.

Self-trust is built in these moments

Dolly couldn't know what would happen next. She didn't know Whitney Houston would eventually record the song. She didn't have the benefit of hindsight telling her she'd made the right decision. She simply had to trust herself.

And perhaps that's the most important part of this story. We often think confidence comes before the courageous decision. I think it frequently comes after it. We make the decision while our stomach is turning. We hold the boundary while part of us wants to take it back. We choose ourselves while wondering whether we're making a terrible mistake. And each time we honour what we know matters to us, we lay another brick in the foundation of self-trust.

That is resilient self-leadership. Not becoming harder. Not caring less. Not putting ourselves above everyone else. But learning that we belong in the equation too.

So perhaps the question isn't simply: Do I know my worth?

Perhaps it's: Where am I being asked to demonstrate that I know it?

Where are you overgiving because you're afraid of what might happen if you stop? Where are you saying yes while something inside you is whispering no? Where are you sacrificing your energy, values or needs for an opportunity, expectation or relationship?

And what would change if you could meet that moment with both an open heart and a clear mind?

Dolly Parton's story reminds me that knowing our worth doesn't close our hearts. It allows us to give from them without losing ourselves in the process.

And that may be one of the most courageous forms of leadership there is.

WATCH HERE.

Are you seeking to find clarity, confidence and courage?

Like to learn more about developing resilience through life challenges?

Niky offers her Rise UP program online, along with empowering retreats for women.

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