For the longest time, time seemed to escape me. No matter how organised I tried to be, there was never enough of it. I felt like I was on a treadmill going too fast — trying to do all the things, tick all the boxes, solve the problems, be where I needed to be, attend to everyone's needs.

And just as I thought I was getting somewhere, there was always something else waiting. Another problem. Another person who needed something. Another thing I should be doing.
I thought I needed to get better at managing my time. But I'm starting to think time was never the problem.

I had forgotten to include myself

Something changed when I started asking myself a very simple question each day: what do I need right now?
Not what needs to get done. Not who needs me. Not what I've forgotten or what I should be doing. Just — what do I need right now?

It sounds like such a small question. But for someone who'd become used to looking outside herself for the next thing that needed her attention, it felt very different. Because suddenly, I was part of the conversation too.

But isn't that selfish?

I think this is where many of us get stuck. We're taught that selfish is a bad word — that we're supposed to be selfless, to give, to help, to be there for people. And there's nothing wrong with caring for other people. But somewhere along the way, I'd confused caring for others with constantly putting myself last.

For me, that didn't lead to some wonderful life of giving. It led to a frantic race to nowhere. I was doing so much, yet constantly feeling like I wasn't doing enough. My time belonged to whatever was loudest, most urgent, or needed fixing next.

One question started changing that

What do I need right now? became a check-in. Sometimes the answer was rest. Sometimes I needed space, or to say no, or to stop fixing something that wasn't mine to fix. Sometimes I needed to choose the thing that mattered to me, even when ten other things were asking for my attention.

Slowly, something happened. I had more energy. It got easier to say no. I became clearer about what actually mattered to me. But the biggest change? I felt like I had my time back — not because someone magically added more hours to my day, not because I found the perfect planner or got brilliant at getting everything done. I simply stopped treating every request on my time as more important than my own needs.

Maybe we don't always need more time

I still have busy days. There are still people I care about and things that need my attention. Life hasn't suddenly become quiet. But I'm no longer trying to win a race where the finish line keeps moving.

Now, when I feel myself speeding up again, I come back to the same question: what do I need right now? It helps me work out what deserves my time, what can wait, what I can say no to, and what I actually want to say yes to.

For years, I thought I needed to become better at managing my time. It turns out I needed to become better at remembering that my time belonged to me too.

So maybe the question isn't how do I find more time? Maybe it's: what am I giving my time to, and have I remembered to give some of it to myself?

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